Telling the kids

That day and night that we found out we called family and friends and I also went to the kids school to tell the principal my diagnosis and that the kids would not be going to school the next day. I had to pm my oldest son because he lives and works out in BC.  Unfortunately he was at work but took a break to talk to me on the phone. He is an introverted young man. Doesn't like to blubber about his fears or tears. Even though I haven't lived with him in years and we don't phone each other, I know my first born enough to know the tone in his voice. It is comforting to know that is in his 20's, had a nice girlfriend, works and is enjoying life. I don't know how I would of felt if it was still just him and I and he were little again. That would of been awful. But here I am married to his step father, and we have 2 young children. Sarah 10 and James 11. We acted as normal as we could and decided that the next day, Friday was going to be a day off if school, a day for just the 4 of us. I felt like I tornado had hit me, I felt so low but almost in zombie mode to get through the day. We sat at the dining room table and told them. They burst out in tears. It was so awful. We decided to go for an adventure that day and drive up riverside Albert. Was nice to stop in little villages and beaches along the way. Dean was still trying to figure out if my appointment with the surgeon the week coming was for chemo or a lumpectomy. We were so inexperienced and had no idea what was going on. The doctors are very careful in the beginning about what and how much they tell you. So dean had called the surgeon Dr. Scarth to try to find out his fast things were going to go because he had to leave Monday for a month. The secretary told him she would find out and call back. When she did call back I answered the cell phone- as Dean was driving. It was the doctor himself. He said yes it is cancer and you have to come in to go over the results more and " there are a few spots on your right breast that we are concerned about, so you have to come in and get more tests". Up until this point I hadn't lost it in front of my kids, well now I was crying quite hard. We were on a country road just up from Cape Enrage beach and Dean pulled over to get me out of the truck.